Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

According to Webster's Dictionary,
people "offering ... Unwanted [unsolicited] advice or services" are officious.
They can also be obnoxious. Unwanted or unsolicited advice can be a put-down and
can be a thinly veiled criticism.

I'm not talking about
going to a lawyer, an accountant, a car mechanic, or whatever, where we need and
ask for professional advice. What I'm talking about is when we share our
struggles and feelings with a friend and they have a compulsion to tell us what
we should or shouldn't do. They are putting us down in that they assume that
they know the answer to our situation and needs better than we know them
ourselves.

Other people have a compulsion to tell you simple
things like how to shine your shoes ... How to sweep the floor ... And how to do
a myriad of other things that are obvious to all, assuming that you aren't as
knowledgeable or as smart as they are. They treat adults like a mother treats a
small child! As the saying goes, "they come on parent." They also make people
angry.

Even when some people want advice in their personal
life, it is a much wiser not to give it, but to help them see what their options
are and determine their own solutions. As long as I "come on parent" to others,
advising them what they should or shouldn't do, it may inflate my weak ego and
make me feel important (falsely so), but it keeps others over-dependent on me
and immature. It can also play the part of God and the Holy Spirit in other
people's lives!

A good counselor doesn't tell people what
they should or shouldn't do. He/she helps his/her clients to face reality (to
see the truth ... First about themselves and then about the situation they are
in) and decide for themselves what they need to do.

What I
want from a friend when I am feeling in the pits, is someone to listen to me
with their heart, to give me their presence, and accept me as I am—and in so
doing communicate to me that they care. On such occasions I don't want or need
advice, unsolicited or otherwise.

In other words I want
friends who rejoice with me when I rejoice and weep with me when I weep. If you
have such friends, cherish them forever. They are rare jewels. Else atleast
ensure that you are one such for others.